Some might say that forcing ones family to wear festively themed gear for Christmas Day is dressing up an already overdressed holiday. Some might say that insisting your little brother wears a Santa Suit complete with deluxe beard and half moon spectacles (and consequent sardonic scowl) is not conducive to encouraging relaxation and bonhomie around the familial hearth. Some might say that kitting your mother out in a Santa Baby outfit and sparkly green slippers is a bit... much. And I know at least one person who would say that prosthetic elf ears and a giant satin babygrow is probably a step too far into fancy for a chap.
To these folk, I say PFF! Look at the FUN! And check out my mother's legs!
Anyway: some guidance as to the costumes of Christmas:
- Festive fanciness can be enjoyed all year round, unlike carols or tinsel, and is particularly useful on fancy occasions that might be a bit chilly.
- Every lady loves a Santa. Some a little bit too much. This is often regarded Wrong. Personally, I think you should get it where you can and if it takes a big curly beard and a apillow or two then stuff that greatcoat tight and enjoy. She'll probably feel a bit ikky in the morning though.
- If you are dressed in a santa suit you can (and should) expect to get a lot of interaction with the general public and passers by and so forth, making humorous sallies on the subject of their Christmas list. You might want to suggest better behaviour on their part or to advise that they write up their requests in a letter to the North Pole/ Lapland. Alternatively, you can do as my Joe did on New Years, dressed as Santa with a pint of scrumpy in one had and a fag in other and snarl 'put it in a fu**ing email its my day off you bastards'. But remember to watch out for small children and try not to shatter their dreams where posssible.
- Ladies, if you have a real sense of occasion in December you will do as Mariah and my Mum did and get those legs out. You will look hot. I am not sure quite why, but trust me, its a good look, with or without the kinky boots.
- The lack of variation should be embraced. I don't really hold with dressing up as a Christmas pudding or such. I much prefer the Millions of Santies approach, especially when they are doing inappropriate things like brawling or jogging: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/mid/4081415.stm
Ho!
